No girl should be dying for virginity – as a FGM survivor, I understand the brutality too well
Hibo is now a FGM campaigner and lives in London (Picture: Alexander Crawley for Metro.co.uk)
When I read the story of the 10-year-old girl who bled to death in Somalia after female genitalia mutilation (FGM) – not only bled to death but she also caught tetanus – I cannot imagine the pain she was going through for two days. The emotions she was going through.
Everything about her collapsed that day, just like it did for me. Everyone you trusted you no longer trust; everyone you thought loved you, you see them not loving you. The agony of her death, it aches my heart. What she went through tears me apart. Why? Why do the parents do that? I come from Somalia where 98% of girls were cut, especially in my age group – I’m 49-years-old now. All I saw as a child was that we weren’t seen as girls. We weren’t treasured as human beings – we were just seen as commodity, as belongings. You know you’re going to grow up and be a beautiful wife – nothing more than that. You belonged to your father and now you’re going to belong to another man. You were nothing but someone’s belonging.
Having FGM means being mutilated just to make you stay a virgin. It seals you up to the point where, when you go to urinate, it takes about 15 to 20 minutes. And when you get periods, you’re in such a lot of pain. In some cases, it causes a lot of infections and you can’t even have children afterwards. It takes away the most important part of you as a woman, which is being able to have a child if you want to.
That choice has been taken away. To be caused so much damage, for what? Because I was born a girl. A 10-year-old died and her father says it’s OK because it’s part of our culture and FGM is accepted. Where is the parental responsibility? Where is the love for his daughter?
He says there is nobody to be held accountable but that’s not true. Yes there is accountability – he is responsible for her death, his wife is responsible for her death, the cutter is responsible for her death. Death is such a social norm in our community – it’s accepted. Women dying and girls dying are accepted because we are valued less. Our lives are less. If it was a boy who died, goodness, this man would be fuming. He would be after blood.
He would want to kill people. He would want to know why his son was killed. But his daughter? It’s OK. There’s no one to be held responsible for her. This is because of our gender. Women and girls are nothing; we’re not valued and our lives mean nothing. She was just 10-years-old, and she suffered for two days. I was suffering for 14 days and the pain still aches my heart. This blood shed and death has to end.